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If Every Month Were June

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Hooter Pridley didn’t stand a chance. One look at “Miss June” Trixie Foxalot, posing seductively in her lime green bikini with a torque wrench, and he was smitten. He couldn’t bring himself to turn the calendar page, even as the months flew by. His destiny was clear, or as clear as it gets for “a water bug skittering across the surface of thought.”

Thus, quitting his auto-parts job and jumping into his 1970 Barracuda, Hooter begins a redneck odyssey across the West, leaving mountainless Sterling, Colorado, to search for the calendar girl of his dreams. On the way to LA, he meets a number of memorable characters, finding friends in unlikely places— Mormon Goths, Rastafarians, brothel grifters, a rabbi with a mean left hook and the unforgettable Luxum DeShane, a wise homeless clarinet player with a mysterious past—not to mention all the loony patients Hooters sees while posing as Dr. Pridley, psychiatrist to the stars.

Relying on his plucky spirit and folksy wisdom to propel him along, Hooter gets himself in and out of one sticky situation after another while learning some life lessons along the way. Fast-paced and sidesplittingly funny, If Every Month Were June is Tony Bender at his satiric best.